This is from a post I did on my MirandaHopkins Instagram account last year……
“I’m happy to start a new year. 2018 was a changing year for me. I’m going to be super honest with you. But this is mostly for me so I can look back and remember. It started with a trip to Nicaragua. I will never forget it. My first time out of the country. I learned that I should be thankful for everything and mostly the little things. Also, it made me want to travel. The plan is for Adam and me to do just that.
This year was full of growth also. I started going to therapy. It made me realize how much getting sick last year affected me. How my world changed. How I am scared every day when I don’t feel right. It helped me learn to deal with it and get past it. This year was full of new doctors and tests. 2019 starts off with new scans and a new doctor also and I am ready.
This year was full of connection. I spend the last two years pulling myself away from people. So this year I tried to force myself to go. Go join in and connect. Most days I have to force myself to socialize and I did it. Every year I have a word for that year and GO was mine for 2018. I feel like I did just that. Also, I learned how to say no. This was huge. How to stay out of situations that are bad for me and won’t better me.
This year was full of newness for my business. My new logo. I still love sooo much and my new website. I had to push myself back into it after last year. Get out there and get those clients. I finished my 2018 photography on December 28th. It was such a fun year with all the amazing couples and clients. Thank you for believing in me and trusting me.
This year personally was hard. I was pushing Adam away. He saw it and we confronted it. I was honest and told him everything. About how I felt like my sickness ruined me. How I am scared. How I don’t feel like myself. How I just need him to help me feel like me. It was a hard discussion but we needed it. I’m so happy we did. 2018 ended on a great note.
2019s word is GRIT. noun : courage and resolve. I plan to put grit into everything. In my personal life and business. 2019 I don’t know what you will be. But I do know that I will be better. I will be good to you and I will have open arms for whatever you bring me.” 12-31-2018 Miranda
Which brings me to today……..
December 2017 our friends Gabe and Amina gave me a book called GRIT. I was chatting with them over lunch talking about my business and how it was doing, which led me to talk about my life, which led me to wonder if I had it in me to “really” do anything with it all. Later on, in their trip, they gifted me with the book.
It has taken me a while to finish reading but I think it was all meant to be. That is, for me to finish the book in November of this year. When I got it I would read it whenever and then months went by without me picking it up at all. Then all of a sudden it was like it called for me.
My word for 2019 is GRIT. I knew I wanted to learn more about it and then practice it in my life. Little did I know how much Grit I actually already had in me.
Life since May had been hard. I have been feeling so may emotions and wondering about my life. Where is it going? What will it look like? Is my business still there? Will I figure out my health? Will my marriage be OK? And so on. Never wanting to give up but just keep moving. Changing and growing. When we were done living in Tecumseh and I wanted to get my life back, one of my big side tasks was to get a library card. I went and did it and ever since I have been listening to free auto books. Grit was on my list. I finished it in three days. I had an ah, ha moment in the last chapter. It reminded me that I already had Grit in me. It is what helped me survive. Survive my health issues with a smile on my face. Survive Greg’s passing knowing I needed to be strong for my husband, mother-in-law, and brother-in-laws. Knowing that I could walk away from my business for over a month and have faith it would still be there when I could come back. Therapy reminded me that it was in me as well. I had the courage to face some big fears this year and live through it. It was a hard few months. Months and challenges that would tear a marriage apart but it made us stronger. My GRIT is a big part of it. Trust me, it was hella hard. But I am here.
You can go through hard times in life but eventually, you will make your way out. I just kept remembering this. That life would get back to “normal” in a few months. I gave myself something to look forward to and I did everything in my power to make it happen. Recently I was with a friend and she said she learned a lot from me this year. I went on to ask, “what,” and she said, “It is ok to have a “Miranda” year. As in having a bad year, realizing it and coming out in the end stronger.” This had me in tears. So people saw this? Since May I have been vague in my posts….sharing but not sharing too much. I needed to share because that is who I am but I didn’t want to overshare in regards to the people involved. What got me in her comment was the, “coming out in the end stronger.” I hadn’t realized it until I heard it. It is what prompted me to write this post and tell you about my GRIT.
“2019s word is GRIT. noun: courage and resolve. I plan to put grit into everything. In my personal life and business. 2019 I don’t know what you will be. But I do know that I will be better. I will be good to you and I will have open arms for whatever you bring me.” – 2018, Miranda
I read that and I feel sadness for 2018 Miranda. She had no clue the sadness/hard times 2019 would bring and yet 2019 Miranda saw it, lived it and grew through it. It was like 2018 Miranda knew what was coming so that is why she chose GRIT. I just keep re-reading it…..I did it. I had GRIT in my personal and business….I already HAD it, I just didn’t know it. But now I feel like I can do anything and I can overcome anything.
My 2020 word is FOCUS. Noun: 1. the center of interest or activity. 2. the state or quality of having or producing clear visual definition. Verb: 1. (of a person or their eyes) adapt to the prevailing level of light and become able to see clearly. 2. pay particular attention to.
It just spoke to me after seeing on a piece of paper. My hope is for this word is to make me FOCUS on the current and the future.
Happy New Year. Goodbye 2019. You taught me a lot but I will not miss you.
Thanks, Amanda for these amazing photos of Adam and I!! :]
Much love, Miranda